


A Phone Call: Things I Should Have Said

by The_Kinky_Pet



Series: Stories in the Power & Paradox Universe [3]
Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Gen, M/M, Minor Steve Rogers/Tony Stark
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-06
Updated: 2015-08-06
Packaged: 2018-04-13 06:22:30
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 847
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4511202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/The_Kinky_Pet/pseuds/The_Kinky_Pet
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Tony swallowed. “And, yeah. You should invite Steve for Christmas. I don’t think it would be good for Steve to be alone.”</p><p>“What do you mean?” Rhodey asked sharply.</p><p>“Just, I know people get low at the holidays and, it’s rough for Steve here.” Tony hesitated a moment before saying quietly, “He has nightmares too. About the war. The crash. SHIELD gave him some useless therapist immediately post-defrost, but he didn’t go back once he was cleared for duty. I got him an appointment with Dr. Jefferson.”</p><p>“Shit, Tones,” Rhodey breathed into the phone. He sounded pained. “Shit. I should have talked to him. Why didn’t I think of that? Fuck. I’m the one who asked you to look out for him! And I got you to Dr. J! What the hell was I thinking, not--”</p><p>“He’s okay,” Tony cut in. “He’s going now. Don’t beat yourself up. But, yeah, Christmas—he’d like that.”</p><p>“Yeah. I’ll call him.” The line was silent for a moment, then Rhodey said, “Yeah, actually, I’d better call him now.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Phone Call: Things I Should Have Said

**Author's Note:**

> This scene takes ‘off camera’ in Chapter 39 right after Tony tells Rhodey about Steve’s PTSD.
> 
> Warnings: PTSD, mentions of racism

“Captain Rogers speaking.”

“Hey, Steve! It’s Jim!  Er, Rhodey.  How’s it going, man?”

“I’m well,” Steve answered, sounding a little surprised to get the call.  “How are you, Jim?”

“Good.  Great! How’s your team?  How’s training?”

“I think we’re doing well.  If you change your mind and want to join us, you’re always welcome you know. We were working on this new maneuver last training session, actually, that’d work even better with an aerial duo. Tony came up with this idea to—“

But Rhodey was only half-focused on Steve’s account of Avenger’s training and JARVIS’s swell simulations.

(Come on, Dom up and talk to the man, Rhodes!) Rhodey grimaced. (And don’t let Tony catch you saying ‘Dom up.’)

His distraction must have been obvious, because after a few minutes Steve started to wind down and then said, “But I have a feeling you didn’t call for a training update.  What’s on your mind, Jim?”

“Yeah.  You’re right.”  Rhodey cleared his throat.  “Two things, actually.  First off—see, I was talking to Tony earlier.  And he said he was putting you in touch with Dr. Jeff and, man, I should have done that ages ago.  But I wanted to say, good for you and she’s the best.”

“Oh.”  A pause. “Okay.”

(Ah, shit.)

“Don’t be mad at Tony for telling me though—trust me, I think it’s great.”  

(Not much better.)

“I see.”  Steve sounded stiff.  “Thanks.”

Rhodey shook his head.  “Sorry.  I’m not that articulate sometimes. I don’t know how much Tony told you about me, but things were really bad for me for a while.  Dr. Jefferson, she really got me through some rough times.”

(Yeah, really empowering vague crap.  Should have written some notes down, Rhodes.)  He could practically hear Steve hesitating.

“Tony said it was after your first tour abroad, right?”

Rhodey shook his head a little.  “Yeah.  I mean, that’s when I first met her and—don’t get me wrong—it wasn’t a good time. Nightmares, the whole deal. But when I needed her most, and was glad we’d already built up that trust, was—“ Rhodey swallowed. “After Afghanistan.  After I lost Tony; and after we found him again.”

Rhodey could hear Steve take a sharp little breath, but he rushed on.  Maybe it would help Steve to hear it …

“Tony and I, we’d been joking—the day it happened—like a running gag, about whether he’d ride with me or not and he was teasing me.  He said his Humvee would be the ‘funvee’ and mine’d be the ‘humdrumvee’ and I laughed and it was cute and the other troops were all in awe of him, not pulling any bullshit, and it was just nice, you know? Getting to see him like that. Then we got hit.”

“It was chaos.  Hell.  I walked away without a fucking scratch. But by the time we regrouped he was gone—no trace—and all I could think was, ‘why’d you let him out of your sight?’ ‘Why didn’t you keep him with you, Rhodes?’  ‘Why wasn’t he with you?’”  

Rhodey took a deep breath—his throat was feeling tight, eyes prickling, even years later knowing Tony was safe in Avengers Tower.

“Three months. Three months wondering what they might be doing to him.  If he was even alive.  Leading search teams, fighting with the brass not to give up on him, and I just kept thinking—“How could I let this happen?  Why didn’t I make him ride with me?”

“Talking it through with Dr. Jeff’s the only reason the guilt didn’t eat me alive, that I got past the idea it was somehow my fault those murdering shitheads kidnapped and tortured my best friend.”  Rhodey took a deep breath, trying to lighten his tone, “So yeah.  You should see Dr. Jefferson.  Even if you don’t absolutely need her today, in our line of work, you never know what might happen.  You may need someone you trust.”

“Yeah,” Steve’s voice sounded rough.  “I’ll see her.  And, thank you.  Thank you for telling me that.  You’re a good man, Jim.  Tony’s lucky to have you as his friend.”

“Yeah, sure,” Rhodey said, feeling awkward.

He didn’t want to tell Steve the rest.  About the way he’d thrown up in the hospital when they explained the thing in Tony’s chest and how it must have gotten there, the other signs of torture.  Or the ugly fight they’d had when Tony shut down weapons manufacturing. Or the even uglier calls he’d started getting from Command: ‘We don’t care how hard you have to yank his chain, Rhodes, get that boy back in line.’; ‘Call the boy to heel, Rhodes.’; ‘Show some goddamn dominance, would you? I thought you people were supposed to be tough on subs.’

Rhodey shook his head, as if it would dispel the nasty memories.

“Uh, Steve? Maybe don’t tell Tones that stuff, though. Knowing him, he’d find a way to feel guilty that I felt guilty.  Idiot.”  

Rhodey cleared his throat.  

“So, hey, the other thing—you wanna come for Christmas with my family?”

 

**Author's Note:**

> Already posted on tumblr, but figured I'd put it here too so it's easy for you to find if you like. 
> 
> I am full of such love for Rhodey and his intense love for Tony. They make me feel better about the world sometimes. (Rhodey maybe also reminds me so so very much of my friend Naomi, who took me under her wing when I was just a few months shy of thirteen. She shielded me from harm, taught me so much about the world, and is every bit as super-heroic as the illustrious Lt. Colonel Rhodes.)


End file.
